Am I the only one the Lord is pruning right now?

This strange trial is now in it’s two year voyage.   The very moment when I come into dock for a break, and I feel its maybe finally over, here comes a frightening email out of the blue, or a phone call with bad news. Lord, why do I worry? Why do I stress? I know you will deliver me from evil. The pounding of the enemy seems to never end Father, and sometimes I feel like giving up.  Forgive me Lord for loosing faith and patience. Turn away from me Lord for not having faith in you when you have proven to me time and time again you are the God of just in time.

Often time my kids and I just hold each other and pray. In the name of Jesus no matter how bad this gets,  I will never abandon you Lord! NO! NO!  I will never abandon you Jesus, no matter how difficult this pruning becomes. Are you testing me? I proclaim Joy over my life for having the opportunity to prove my love to you.

Letting go of the impurities is hard. It’s not easy Father and for those of you that think being a Christian is easy, it’s not. The time of grace is beautiful, and the honeymoon intoxicating, but the pruning is unbearable but worth it all Father to be more like you.

At 4am most mornings I find myself in the dark praying on my knees before the sun comes up. Do yo hear me Lord?  I find myself pushing into Seattlerevival.com. Do you see that Lord?  I find myself spending time in the word and  I find myself driving 20 miles to pick someone up to bring them to church and then take them home only to listen to them complain about the service.  Lord, what is it you want of me Father? Are you testing me to see if I am going to give up? Is this what you want of me? My CD sits in Life-way nationwide and they don’t play me on the radio.  I am enduring this humble existence as an evangelist here in Seattle of all places. Why Seattle Lord? They are so dry here. They mock me and make fun of me as I feed them your word.

Pruning hurts Father. You remove the dead wood from my soul that can breed disease and insects, and your wisdom makes my vine lighter and more attractive.  In time, you cut away the habits that bind me Father (1 Peter 2:11). Gradually, you trim my excesses with your mighty hand and teach me to rely more on YOU. Less of ME, more of YOU. I am learning Father, your pruning is not in vain.

Pray with me.

“Dear Father God, Lord I pray in the name of Jesus that you guide my ship through these dangerous waters of life. I pray Father that I become closer to you, that I depend on you, that I pray to you for every little thing I need in my life. I am nothing Father without you. Forgive me for my pride Lord. Look away from my sin Father God and please Lord have pity on me and do not anger. I am nothing without you, and I love you with every thread and fiber in my body. I am your servant Lord. If you wish me to humble even further I will Lord. For the rest of my life I humble myself gladly and do it Lord. “
Your servant-

Phil